Starting a new job is exciting. I looked forward to a new professional challenge, managing a new team and continued professional growth.

I passed the background, drug and reference checks. I was on my way and ready for my first day.

With favorite pen in hand and passport (for the I-9 form), I arrived and reported to HR ready to fill out a mountain of paperwork. HR handed me a heavy thick envelope with instructions to complete and encouraged me to return the documents soon. I had researched my benefit options, I knew what was best for the family and because I am a perfectionist at times, I heard “return today.” How difficult could the ‘forms’ be?

HR profile
HR handbook acknowledgment
Insurance
401K enrollment
Direct Deposit
Taxes
Beneficiary
Parking
Internet usage
Payroll
Nepotism policy
(10 additional forms at least but I won’t bore you. You get the point)

And then there it was:

EMERGENCY CONTACT FORM
Emergency Contact #1: Name, number, relationship
Emergency Contact #2: Name, number, relationship

I was hit by a ton of bricks by this form. Stumped. Sad. Concerned. Perplexed. Numb. I had never been asked the question after the divorce. WHO IS YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT?
I didn’t have a quick answer. I am typically prepared for most situations by researching and anticipating.

However, this time, I wasn’t and it was scary. I couldn’t complete the form. I wasn’t ready.
In the event of an emergency, who cared enough about me that they would want to be contacted AND are they capable of making an emergency medical decision? Everybody can’t function in the midst of chaos. Over reacting isn’t an option. Level headed and good listening skills are required. This was a difficult decision.

When you are married, you don’t think
about your “emergency contact” requirements: You list your spouse.

Do I name a task master? It’s tempting
Do I list the kids? No. The oldest was away in college. I need someone locally.
Sibling? Not an option.
Friend? They say they love me but I don’t want to impose.

I soon exhaled and stopped making it more difficult than it really was and I listed the first name to come to mind. After all, I had a power of attorney and health care directive so in a true emergency my wishes are documented.

I was temporarily stumped but not defeated. I never thought “I made a mistake. I need a spouse to fill in the blank.” I experienced a pit stop that I didn’t anticipate like kids on a long road trip having to use the restroom one more time.

Don’t let a (small) unforeseen temporary situation trip you up.
Contact family.
Get a network of friends.
Own your truth.

~Elle Camille